Over the last few weeks, I’ve gone from nervous about workouts, to excited about them. Over the past few months, I’ve gone from not finishing or falling off, to hanging on, to being okay with helping lead and push some reps.
I so wish I had started these updates in the fall, so you could see just how different this is from then. Instead, you’ll have to take my word. It is such a freaking relief.
I’m excited to go to practice again. I’m holding myself back from asking for more.
I was talking with Amy about that shift. I love the way she put it… as inertia starts to kick in, there’s an extra motivation each day to keep the streak alive. I want to nail the workouts bc of my goals. But now I also want to finish because I have a rhythm going, and I don’t want it to stop. Completing each session moves more into the column of “nonnegotiable.” Momentum is a beautiful thing.
And there are still all the familiar worries… that I’ll take it for granted and somehow jinx it… or what if one day it all just stops and I’m back on the struggle bus. But the fear of that struggle is lessening the more I see it as a feasible challenge, and a sign that good things are to come. And for now, I’m just trying to enjoy the flow for a sec. To borrow the phrase from my current jam… GTFOMD 😜
Photo by Jordan Beckett
It’s almost a full group warming up these days… 8-10 women. It’s amazing (sometimes intimidating) how much talent and drive there is in the group.
I was part of a panel discussion last week. The topic was women supporting women, and how to lift each other up in sports and business. At talks like that, many times there is a question about how to reduce cattiness and competitiveness among women. In my experience, that isn’t the key question. For me, it’s how do I remain confident in myself, while also surrounding myself with successful, confident people.
I only get the urge to be gossipy, or want to find something “wrong” with someone else, when I’m a low on my self-esteem. And that tends to happen when I lose track of my personal path and goals.
Example from last week: For our Tuesday workouts, I am usually given a shorter set. This is because I run less mileage, and I’m relatively new to the program. Still, I don’t want to feel like the runt of the litter, and it’s easy to compare myself with training partners who seem so similar on the surface. We are runners! We are women! We are comparable!
But that is a trap. Just because we can wear the same sports bra, doesn’t make us the same. We are different people, different stories. Right now for me, feeling within myself on a 4.5 mile fartlek is progress. I want to keep pushing that up in distance, but I also have to acknowledge that that’s a big step.
And the more I clarify my unique path, the more I am able to celebrate the unique strengths in my training partners. The mantra I use to get in this mindset is, “I am me, and I love me some me.” Silly, but effective😬! Of course it’s easier said than done. I go through ups and downs in my confidence. But like anything else, it’s the progress that matters. 💋
Photo by Jordan Beckett